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[thereneverwas]

[For correspondence, private scenes, and anthrax.]

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[thereneverwas]

I expect it'll hurt for some time. But I'll be back on my feet, mate, don't worry about me.

[A pause.]

What about you?

[illithidnapped]

Oh, the healers absolutely loved me. [This, my friend, is bragging. Blatant bragging.] Made sure I didn't feel a thing beyond their own impressively tender caress.

In fact I'm fit as a fiddle, and not a scratch to be seen.

[thereneverwas]

Well.

[Somewhat mirroring the smugness, albeit to a lesser degree,]

I suppose there may be people less well-regarded than myself to our resident healing mages, but it still suits me fine to stay out of their way.

[illithidnapped]

Oh come now, they don't bite. Hard.

[He's joking, of course. The map of his own comprehension when it comes to the delicate balance between magic and— well, everything in Thedas, is more than clear enough by now.]

Not half as well as I do, anyway.

[But from there, it falls away, that preening mood. Slips low into something far more delicate.]

...by the way, apropos of purely nothing: you're not planning on going to our dear leaders to report on the specifics of what happened back there, are you?

[thereneverwas]

[Barrow chuckles easily.]

I'm not going to snitch on you, Astarion, if that's what you're asking.

[A pause, in which he clears his throat, becoming a little more serious:]

I prefer to think the experience was punishment in itself.

[illithidnapped]

Oh good. [Relieved. Beyond relieved. Cheerful, even.]

Then we’ve all learned a valuable lesson. Together.

[thereneverwas]

[Astarion sounds a little too relieved. Barrow feels a subtle shift in his own opinion, and makes up his mind.]

...though I might make you make it up to me anyway. Not sure how yet.

[Without being able to see him, one can still imagine him thoughtfully scratching the stubble on his cheek.]

Got my fuckin' lung punctured for you, mate.

[illithidnapped]

What, my company alone isn't good enough for you?

[Relief bleeds out of him instantly, quick as a fresh wound. In fact, he sounds distinctly offended by the very suggestion, now that it's clear enough bygones are not yet bygones.]

It's just a lung: you've got two.

[thereneverwas]

[Oh is that what we're doing now,]

Well so do you, mate, can I have one of yours then?

[Imagine such a ridiculous operation being possible.]

[illithidnapped]

You poor darling, if only I could.

Elves, you see. Completely incompatible with all your— hm. Fragile little parts.

[thereneverwas]

[Fair enough. Still.

Grumbling,] we'll see who's fragile next time I have to drag you away from a losing battle.

[illithidnapped]

If you hadn't interfered I wouldn't have lost.

[Oh, wonderful. From resolution and closure all the way back into argumentative petulance. Well done, Astarion. Very mature.]

[thereneverwas]

That so?

Maybe you should explain it to the Commander, if that’s the case.

[It’s not a real threat; he’s just tired, and grouchy, and trying not to admit he’s a bit traumatized by the whole ordeal.]

[illithidnapped]

What— no.

[Abrupt panic gives way to high, breathy laughter when he presses, quickly:] No no no. No need for all that, now.

We're dear friends after all. No point in dredging up the past, right?

[thereneverwas]

Of course not, no point at all.

[The smile in his voice is audible.]

I'll let you know when I need a favor.

[illithidnapped]

Or consider instead [Astarion starts, pressing only lightly so as to worm his way out of owing a blank check to anyone here ] I could tell you a secret.

[thereneverwas]

Hmm.

[He makes a big show of thinking. Then,]

or I could just make you do all the cleaning on the training pitch until I'm all healed up. [these things take time]

[illithidnapped]

Trust me, this is one little tidbit you'll want to have in hand.

Worth months of training pitch cleanup. Possibly even years.

[thereneverwas]

Well. That's a long time.

[He hesitates.]

Why'll I want to have it in hand?

[illithidnapped]

Because it’s of interest to you. [Astarion says ever-so-gently, before adding, with far more weight behind it:]

And it relates to you.

[thereneverwas]

[A long-suffering sigh. He hates that this is working.]

Relevant in a good way, or bad?

[illithidnapped]

That depends on your perspective. [For once, it isn't deflection: the flatness in his tone might even convey that much, given a lack of typical coyness.]

I'm a reliquary of vital information, not a mind reader.

[thereneverwas]

[Ugh. Damn it.
Barrow may be lazy and avoidant, but he can’t stifle his curiosity.]

Fine.

Deal.

[illithidnapped]

Our dear Lady Seeker is terribly concerned for you. In fact, she's been wrestling with the temptation to come see you for quite some time now.

[Delicate, his delivery. Like handling glass, all of it.]

Never once managing the nerve for it.

[thereneverwas]

[Well that's.

Not what he expected.

But also not, shall we say, an unwelcome revelation.]

...what?