[He idly digs around for a cigarette, uses his runestone to light it. One of the cats hops up on his lap and he rests a hand on its head as it begins to purr like a motor, getting its ears scratched.]
Ah. [Tav sets his botany book to the side, thinking. He's been free from the Dark Urge for a few months now, but he remembers the pull it had on him, how it dictated his entire life. Perhaps the situations are not exactly alike, but seem similar enough that Tav feels he can speak on Barrow's.]
[The phrasing of the question is odd-- it was the same with the previous one, but Barrow only just now notices. Not them, but he. He glances at Tav, raises his eyebrows.]
[Tav doesn't realize his mistake until Barrow mentions it. Right. It's not as if all the Templars have a tadpole in their head (or a dark entity willing to set Baldur's Gate into a panic with blood).]
You're right. Sorry. I swear I'm following along.
[It's just hard not to see parallels and assume things.]
They. You take a vow and you're eternally bound to them?
[That's right. The Chantry, Andraste. Another god he's only read fleeting information about. Or one loved by the gods. Tav thought his own pantheon was confusing, but it seems the gods grow in number every day in Thedas.]
Unless it isn't.
[Tav doesn't have to consider what it's like to break a bond like that. The Dark Urge had been loyal to Bhaal. Still, it's different making a vow while not steeped in darkness.]
If I may ask, why did you join the Templars in the first place?
Was a dumb kid who didn't want to work a farm my whole life. They'd come through on their way to Val Royeaux, and I thought: wouldn't that be fine, wearing shiny armor and parading around like someone important, and all for Andraste. That's what got my parents on board.
[we can all see how that turned out,]
Your thing, [he motions lightly-- enough about me--] with the, [he gestures to his head.]
[Tav has met more than one person who joined an organization for the glory and prestige. Barrow had never struck him as such a person, but he's older now, has matured, and left said organization. Even if the Templars still seem to have a hold on him.
At the mention of Tav's issue, he shrugs.] If you can believe it I originally thought I woke up as such. No memory but violent urges and thoughts. As I learned later on I was meant to be an assassin on behalf of a god of death before my cousin tortured my memories away.
[A really pleasant time.] But those urges are gone, I promise. You're in no danger.
Is that all, [Barrow remarks, but gently: the Riftwatchers who have been through hell and back outnumber the ones who haven't, and there's no need to pick on someone for something he couldn't help. How different is that from possession, anyway?
He gives a little chuckle at the reassurance.]
Figured as much. I may not be unanimously beloved, but I like to think someone would have a problem with me getting murdered in my own room.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-12-02 08:58 pm (UTC)[He idly digs around for a cigarette, uses his runestone to light it. One of the cats hops up on his lap and he rests a hand on its head as it begins to purr like a motor, getting its ears scratched.]
Never stops raining shit around here, does it.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 06:55 pm (UTC)[Tav is completely unknowing regarding cigarettes, but Barrow is not the first to indulge them.]
So he says jump and you're supposed to ask 'how high' even if you're not still a Templar?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-09 07:22 pm (UTC)[He takes in a draw, sighs out a puff of smoke, pauses to unthinkingly lean forward and give the cat a little kiss on its head.]
's a few of us. Not sure how high to jump. Whether to jump at all.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-11 08:18 pm (UTC)Will he forever have a hold on you?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 12:31 am (UTC)He?
[a bit more gently, he adds:]
Nobody's living inside our heads, mate.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 12:37 am (UTC)You're right. Sorry. I swear I'm following along.
[It's just hard not to see parallels and assume things.]
They. You take a vow and you're eternally bound to them?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 12:39 am (UTC)That's the... yes. Them, the Chantry, Andraste, whoever you want to put at the top. Your loyalty's your bond.
[He sighs, shrugs a shoulder.]
Unless it isn't.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 12:44 am (UTC)Unless it isn't.
[Tav doesn't have to consider what it's like to break a bond like that. The Dark Urge had been loyal to Bhaal. Still, it's different making a vow while not steeped in darkness.]
If I may ask, why did you join the Templars in the first place?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 07:04 pm (UTC)Was a dumb kid who didn't want to work a farm my whole life. They'd come through on their way to Val Royeaux, and I thought: wouldn't that be fine, wearing shiny armor and parading around like someone important, and all for Andraste. That's what got my parents on board.
[we can all see how that turned out,]
Your thing, [he motions lightly-- enough about me--] with the, [he gestures to his head.]
How'd that start?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 08:51 pm (UTC)At the mention of Tav's issue, he shrugs.] If you can believe it I originally thought I woke up as such. No memory but violent urges and thoughts. As I learned later on I was meant to be an assassin on behalf of a god of death before my cousin tortured my memories away.
[A really pleasant time.] But those urges are gone, I promise. You're in no danger.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 10:40 pm (UTC)He gives a little chuckle at the reassurance.]
Figured as much. I may not be unanimously beloved, but I like to think someone would have a problem with me getting murdered in my own room.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-18 01:04 am (UTC)I'm glad we've gotten a chance to talk, Barrow. [He feels a bit like he's among one of his companions again.]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-18 07:08 pm (UTC)Unless I'm the guard. [He waggles his eyebrows: he is joking.]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-18 10:01 pm (UTC)Impossible. None of my guards were half as good looking as you.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-18 11:03 pm (UTC)Damn right.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-24 07:39 pm (UTC)Quite confident, aren't you. [It's not accusatory, but perhaps some very light flirting.]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-24 09:23 pm (UTC)[Rising to his feet, Barrow gently lets the cat jump down as he begins to get his things-- time to go be useful.]
I'm off, [he calls conversationally,] try not to kill anyone.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-24 09:45 pm (UTC)No promises.